When a traumatic event happens, it's how we process the event that causes the trauma within.
This is why people may react differently to the same event.
The essence of trauma is when there is a disconnection. Our brains try to protect, or defend us, from experiences that are too painful.
However, because we are naturally designed to be connected and attached, the healing comes when we are able to first, reconnect within ourselves.
Anger is all too often perceived as a negative emotion rather than a natural and useful one.
The emotion of anger is not negative; how it is recognized, received and managed is what needs to be given attention and space.
Understanding what is happening and why, is key to developing the skills in how to manage this valid emotion.
There's no doubt about it....being a parent can be challenging. There's also no denying that being a child can be equally difficult, confusing, scary and overwhelming too.
Although it's up to us to support and guide our kids (of all ages), sometimes, because of our own life experiences, we too need support, understanding and guidance.
It's not about blame, shame or guilt, but rather, simply having insightful understanding and appreciation for how the human brain works and what the primary fundamental, developmental and survival needs of humans are.
From this position, suddenly things make sense and being a parent not only becomes much easier, it also helps to facilitate and nurture the desired outcomes for both our child and ourselves.
Anxiety is our brain's reaction to what is perceived as a threat.
In order to stay safe in the world, our brains have an alarm system that moves us to caution whenever there is a potential danger or threat.
This could be on a conscious or subconscious level. But whenever there is something that could be subjectively perceived as a threat to our security, our internal alarm goes off, producing signals that lead to feelings of being unsafe.
Understanding what, and why, our brain is perceiving things as a danger, is key to reducing the triggers and managing our internal alarm system.
Human beings are naturally meant to be connected and attached. This is our primary instinctual need.
Because our brain's first survival need is to attach, to be valued, and not be rejected; when this is not happening, there is conflict within and conflict with others.
Resolving conflict starts with understanding this key component of human behaviour. That's when mediation and sustainable resolution can happen.
Life is a journey and one that requires a healthy connection with others and a healthy connection within ourselves.
Both of these can sometimes be difficult to achieve.
Everyone, at some point or another needs support, insight and guidance in ways that are personalized, non-biased,
compassionate and empathetic.
Without judgement or shame, to safely, be completely open and honest, with yourself and someone else, is a healthy choice that may take strength and courage but shows wisdom as well.